Let’s crush your self-doubt with a hammer

Is self-doubt chasing you as you race toward professional goals? The answer is often yes. Surveys have shown that adults experience self-doubt as many as six times every day! A good chunk (14%) are concerned about their ability to succeed professionally. Feelings of self-doubt are not rare. And they impair us in more ways than one:

• Self-doubt cripples our ability to dream big. We are handing out nos to ourselves without even trying
• It makes the wins feel okay when they should have really been exuberant celebrations
• For managers, self-doubt is a barrier on the path to being assertive and confident in their roles

6 moments of self-doubt and why they happen

Think of it this way: You have been an individual contributor for a while, and your senior shows up and tells you that you are going to lead a team now. Isn’t that exciting? Yet, something lingers at the back of your head as the day proceeds:

Am I good enough to lead others? Without experience, that’s a legitimate question to ask, right? But it also points to a lack of confidence in your own skills.

I am just pretending to be a manager. Have you ever felt you were going with the flow and enacting a script as long as the costume fit? That’s imposter syndrome lurking, which makes you doubt the veracity of your achievements.

I will never be like her. We all have colleagues who are impressive beyond belief. They are remarkable and never seem to go wrong. And we often try to match up unsuccessfully. Competing with someone else who’s in a different context and a different person further adds to self-doubt professionally.

I will mess up. You must decide who to hire for your team; what if it goes wrong? Let’s ask someone because the risk is too high. The pressure of making mistakes increases doubt in your mind, and you shy away from doing things.

I don’t know what’s going on. Your senior congratulated you a lot, but you are not very sure what being a manager entails. 1-1 meetings with all the 20 folks or a team meeting to set the cadence right- it’s a problem! If you think you are not good because you don’t know what’s next, your circumstances fuel self-doubt. Unclear or rapidly shifting expectations hurt results and the associated feel-good moments.

I can’t get this right. Your team member asked for help, and you lost it; that was the tenth query of the day! But let’s step back for once: were you ever taught about managerial duties? Probably not; most managers aren’t. So, while self-doubt may point the finger at you, it’s not you.

To sum up, self-doubt is a feeling of not being good enough that arises when you are unsure of your abilities. Sometimes, the reasons could be internal; in others, your circumstances could drive you the wrong way.

Getting rid of self-doubt as a manager

As people managers, we have plenty of opportunities to doubt ourselves, so here are some ways to not do it:

Think of your locus of control

If you have an internal locus, you will likely blame yourself for everything, even a solar eclipse. But a balance is essential. Understand when it’s you and when it’s the world around you.

Be sure of yourself

The good part about being the cause of our problems is that we can be the solution, too. Feeling stuck due to a lack of skills? Build up. Need advice? Get a mentor (here’s a free one, just for you to get started). Instead of internalizing the moments, consider them as gaps you can fill. Positive affirmations and a growth mindset will help you build confidence.

Don’t be a superhero

We aren’t Batman, and even Batman messes up sometimes. Consider the limits around you, and take up as much as you can handle. Badly set expectations and goals set you up for failure and self-doubt. Instead, be realistic and stretch yourself toward success.

#leadership #leadershipdevelopment #managerdevelopment

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