Conflict Coach 101: A Beginner’s Guide

Did you know? Since 2008, we have doubled the hours we spend in conflicts at work. Research by the Myers-Briggs Company suggests that an average manager spends 4 hours handling conflicts weekly. These conflicts could be within their team, another team, or involve themselves. Conflicts are not so uncommon anymore. The same study shows that 36% of people are involved in some sort of workplace conflict every week. Conflict coaching is a helpful way to aid people and teams in dealing with tough situations to find resolutions in scenarios like these.

What is Conflict Coaching?

Conflict coaching is a step-by-step process of developing conflict resolution skills and emerging from conflicts derailing work teams. A trained expert called a conflict management coach helps individuals or groups deal with and solve problems. In several coaching sessions, the coach works with clients to find the main reasons for the conflict. They also help you see different viewpoints and create practical ways to talk to each other better. This process allows you to work together to resolve issues and reach agreements that work for everyone.

How Can a Conflict Coach Help You?

Investing in conflict coaching has many benefits for leaders and people managers. It helps you grow personally and helps your organization succeed:

• Better conflict resolution skills: You learn useful tools to deal with conflicts in a smart way. You can turn disagreements into chances for growth and new ideas.
• Better communication: Conflict coaching teaches you to talk clearly, listen well, and keep an open conversation going. It helps you build stronger relationships with their teams.
• More self-awareness: During coaching, you become more aware of yourself and your emotions. You learn about your conflict management style, strengths, and weaknesses. This empowers you to handle disputes better and feel more confident in tough talks.
• Build loyalty in teams: Conflict coaches also create a safe and private space for you to discuss personal challenges, communication issues, and power struggles. They help you notice and deal with biases to make better choices and create a more inclusive and respectful workplace.

Getting help from a conflict coach can make things better. A coach acts as a neutral person who helps with communication. They can find the root causes of the conflict and guide everyone towards a resolution process. This approach can help create a healthier and more productive work environment. But when is the right moment to get started? Let’s figure out.

5 Signs That You Need a Conflict Coach

Recognizing the signs of unresolved conflict is important. It helps you deal with problems before they get worse. It could be time for conflict coaching if you see ongoing tension, less productivity, or more staff absences. Ignoring workplace conflicts hurts team spirit and may even lead to legal trouble or damage your reputation.

Difficulty in Addressing Conflicts

Not all of us are great at addressing problems head-on. While it’s easier to sweep challenges under the rug, for the time being, they only fester and grow bigger. This manifests in several ways:

• Avoidance: You consistently put off addressing conflicts, hoping they’ll resolve on their own.
• Discomfort: You feel anxious or uncomfortable when confronting issues directly.
• Ineffective approaches: Your attempts to resolve conflicts often backfire or make situations worse.
• Lack of objectivity: You struggle to remain impartial when mediating disputes.

As a result, the conflict remains present and active within the team without getting the attention it deserves, slowly eating up from the inside and leading to the second point we see below.

High Turnover Rate

What do bad work atmospheres with frequent conflicts lead to? Stress, delays, and so on. All of these fuel your best talent to fly away because they curb their performance and career progress. Conflicts could be escalating the turnover on your team; there are several signs, such as:

• Employees becoming disinterested in offering suggestions and ideas over time
• Employees hesitating to speak in common forums
• Visible groupism and peer pressure on some employees
• Lack of collaboration or delays in your projects when your team needs to work together

High turnover is costly for organizations financially and in terms of lost knowledge and productivity. It also damages your team’s morale and the company’s reputation.

Ineffective Communication and Collaboration Barriers

Ineffective communication leads to problems at work, such as arguments and misunderstandings. When people cannot express their thoughts and feelings clearly or do not listen to others, teamwork is difficult. But that’s not all; communication. Communication skills are more important for managers during conflicts because they cannot understand and participate effectively in the resolution process without them. Hence, if you feel like you have no idea how to address a conflict on your team, head to a conflict coach soon.

Persistent Team Disputes and Low Morale

Team disputes hurt how your employees feel at work. It can lead to less productivity, people feeling disconnected, and more stress. If these disputes are ignored, they can make the work environment toxic. This, in turn, stops teamwork and new ideas. Conflict coaching is a way to address these problems and improve the team’s vibe.

Personal Stress

Not all conflicts exist around you; some of them will pull you in, too. It refers to the emotional toll on the manager, which might include:

• Feeling overwhelmed by team conflicts
• Experiencing anxiety about going to work
• Losing sleep over unresolved issues
• Decreased job satisfaction and motivation
• Physical symptoms of stress (headaches, fatigue, etc.)
• Difficulty separating work stress from personal life

If this felt relatable, it’s time to start the search for a conflict coach. It is not just about the conflict that started two weeks back; it’s about your growth as a professional, which gets impeded in a stressful and unproductive environment. These signs are often interconnected. A manager who has difficulty addressing conflicts may experience increased personal stress. This stress can impact your leadership, potentially leading to a higher turnover rate. Similarly, a high turnover rate can create more conflicts and increase stress for the remaining team members and the manager.

Step-by-Step Guide to Implementing Conflict Coaching

Effective leadership relies on positively handling conflict. It means turning problems into chances for growth. Important qualities you can work on with a conflict coach include empathy, active listening, and emotional intelligence. When you see and appreciate different viewpoints, you help everyone feel valued and included. Let’s break down the process of working with a conflict coach in more detail below:

Step 1: Assessing the Conflict Situation

The first step in conflict coaching is to assess the situation. It means gathering information from everyone involved. It is important to understand their views and find the main causes of the conflict. Initially, you might have a biased view of the conflict happening around you. You need to master active listening and approach those situations without assuming things. With active listening and empathy, the conflict coach makes a safe space. Here, people on your team can share their feelings and experiences without fear of judgment. It helps clear up misunderstandings and the deeper issues causing the conflict. This way, the coaching process can be tailored to meet the needs and goals of each person involved. Learn more about conflict handling here:

Step 2: Setting Goals for Conflict Resolution

Once you understand the conflict, the next step is to set clear goals for solving it. It means working together with all the people involved to find out what they want. You will also define what a successful outcome looks like. Setting goals gives direction in the coaching process and ensures everyone is aiming for the same target. Goals help measure progress and determine whether the strategies used during conflict resolution in your team are effective. They should be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. This way, there is a clear plan for reaching a result that helps everyone. With clear goals, the conflict coaching process is more focused. It makes people on your team more likely to find lasting solutions and improve their relationships.

Step 3: Developing a Personalized Action Plan

After setting clear goals, the next step is to create an action plan. This plan should focus on the specific conflict and help reach the desired results. You need to find steps, strategies, and techniques that fit the people involved and their unique situations. The action plan should include specific communication skills to practice. It should also list conflict resolution methods and ways to manage emotions and triggers. This might mean role-playing different situations, practicing active listening, or looking at other viewpoints to better understand. A good action plan serves as a guide for the conflict coaching process. It equips people with the tools and strategies they need.

Step 4: Implementing the Plan with a Conflict Coach’s Guidance

Implementing the action plan needs commitment and consistency. It also requires ongoing support from a trained coach. The coach helps you through the process. They give encouragement, hold you accountable, and offer feedback as you practice new skills and deal with tough conversations. The coach acts as a facilitator. They create a safe space for you to think about your experiences, handle setbacks, and celebrate wins. The coach might also provide extra resources and role-playing opportunities or change the action plan as people grow and their needs change. Still, the onus of action is yours, so make sure you keep up! With a skilled conflict coach guiding them, individuals feel brave enough to leave their comfort zones. You can practice new ways of communicating and tackle conflict directly. The coach’s role is very important for providing the structure and support needed for success and lasting change. P.S. Risely’s AI coach Merlin is super helpful in role play practices!

Step 5: Monitoring Progress and Making Adjustments

Monitoring progress and making changes are very important in conflict coaching. Regularly checking the action plan, assessing progress toward goals, and finding ways to improve help everyone on your team grow and succeed. The coach works with each person to watch their progress, celebrate their achievements, and see where changes are needed. They might use methods like journaling, feedback sessions, or role-playing to check how skills develop and find any problems that hide under the surface of your team. The conflict coaching process stays flexible as you always monitor progress and make changes when needed. It meets individual needs and focuses on creating lasting, positive changes in how people communicate and handle conflicts.

Step 5: Monitoring Progress and Making Adjustments

Monitoring progress and making changes are very important in conflict coaching. Regularly checking the action plan, assessing progress toward goals, and finding ways to improve help everyone on your team grow and succeed. The coach works with each person to watch their progress, celebrate their achievements, and see where changes are needed. They might use methods like journaling, feedback sessions, or role-playing to check how skills develop and find any problems that hide under the surface of your team. The conflict coaching process stays flexible as you always monitor progress and make changes when needed. It meets individual needs and focuses on creating lasting, positive changes in how people communicate and handle conflicts.

Can’t Find A Conflict Coach? Merlin Will Help!

Conflict coaches are great. But here’s a fact: not all of us have access to coaching as much as we need. Sometimes, it’s the budget, sometimes the absurd schedule, and sometimes, it’s us – talking to a coach about internal matters of the team does get hard. Merlin, Risely’s in-built AI coach, is there to save you from all these problems (and many more, to be honest.) Merlin provides on-demand coaching based on your context and challenges in a hyper-personalized way. There are three interesting ways to how Merlin works as a conflict coach:

• Situational discussions: If you are in a conflict and want to resolve it, we have you covered. Share your situation with Merlin, who will offer you practical tips and ideas on how to navigate those troubling waters much more easily.
• Role plays: You are sure how you want to address a conflict, but you wonder how the other person will react. Merlin facilitates role plays after understanding the personalities and colleagues so you can practice those tricky conversations before time runs out.
• Skill development: When you know you want to improve your conflict resolution skills but don’t know how Merlin is there to help.  

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Conclusion

Conflict coaching is helpful for leaders who want to handle disputes better. By knowing when to get help from a conflict coach, you can prepare important skills and follow a clear guide. It will improve your conflict resolution skills and leadership. Use available resources, set clear goals, and make tailored action plans with a conflict coach to create a pleasant workplace. Embracing conflict coaching will boost communication, teamwork, and employee morale. It leads to better success in your organization and higher employee satisfaction.